By Danielle Bulhoes
This song makes me feel like a little girl again. It could be because of the piano, the haunting sound reminding me of a music box I had that my grandmother gave me, or it could be how Amos’ lyrics conjured up memories of friends that were found and lost through the years since I was in elementary school.
It makes me ache. It makes me want to travel back in time and confront the people who didn’t give me the choice of whether or not they got to stay in my life. Maybe if I had said something then, they’d still be around. Maybe not.
Amos prophecizes that neither she or I “can stop what’s coming, can’t stop what is on its way”. It definitely feels like that sometimes, doesn’t it? Looking back, could I have done something different? Could I have saved someone the pain their choices would cause? Could I have saved myself? How much control did I really have over my relationships?
The narrative that Amos shares through “Bells for Her” is that of two childhood friends who grow apart. Amos grieves the loss of the relationship and the change that her friend goes through, sad to see them less than they were. Ground down “to be sand under his shoes.” And the friend is not the only one who changes. Amos is changed too. But even though their relationship isn’t what it was and that their both different people, Amos says that she “can’t stop loving”.
This song is so personal. Whether it’s a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, parent, sister, brother, etc., sometimes you can’t stop a relationship ending. And that’s ok. “Bells for Her” tells you that when you leave someone behind or get left behind yourself, you don’t always get a clean resolution. You don’t get closure. And that can trouble someone for a long time. But I think the main focus of the song is, even if you can’t say goodbye, you’ll still have those memories to remind yourself that it wasn’t all bad. And if you felt as happy as you did then, there’s a chance of you feeling like that again.